仰望人是枉然 因他人總令你失望

平心 靜氣 謹言 慎行

我很累，可还不能睡。。。

Besides full schedule from Tue to Fri
Tue 10-12, GGY interview
Wed due Pricing Assignment + 2:00-4:00 CPPIB interview
Thur 10:00-12:00 ScotiaBank interview + due Numerical Assignment
Friday 10:00-12:00 volatility final Exam!!!

Lord, let me get it through....

Learing Process

So happy that I got the codes finally working~
It was about to pricing the European call option by Monte Carlo simulation with control variate, which was originally an assignment due last Thursday by Numerical Methods.

I was quite freaked out on that Wednesday night that many people wrote their codes easily, except me(well and few other people). But today, after "burning" 34 bucks on a laptop sleeves at Eaton, I finally can bring my little buddy --xps 1210 to school.

went to 12th floor of Robard Library and found a quite corner... Finally I could sit down and think and rethink about the logics involved. Ha, guess what, I got it ~ and those people who thought they were correct actually made a mistake on the conditional probability.

well.... maybe I am not that dumb...

This is the so-called learning process, isn't it?

Now, what's next? Brownian Bridge?

Life is hard, interviews are harder

as titled.

Rest In Peace, 至死仍在拍攝的男人

Myanmar Apologizes For Journalist's Death: Kyodo
By REUTERS
Published: September 28, 2007

TOKYO (Reuters) - Japan strongly protested to Myanmar over the killing of a Japanese video journalist during an anti-government rally, and Myanmar Foreign Minister Nyan Win offered apologies, Kyodo news agency said on Saturday.

Fifty-year-old Kenji Nagai was fatally wounded in Yangon on Thursday, and pictures smuggled out of the country showed him clutching a camera as he lay dying.


Japanese Foreign Minister Masahiko Komura made the protest when he met his Myanmar counterpart at U.N. headquarters in New York on Friday.

The death of Nagai "was extremely regrettable and we will lodge a stern protest," Japanese officials quoted Komura as telling Nyan Win, Kyodo said.

Nyan Win told Komura he was indeed sorry for the death, telling Japanese officials: "Demonstrations are beginning to calm down, and we would also like to exercise restraint," Kyodo said.

Japanese Foreign Ministry officials were not immediately available for comment.

Nagai was the first foreign victim of the protests that began as sporadic marches against fuel price hikes but have swelled over the past month into mass demonstrations against 45 years of military rule in Myanmar, which is also known as Burma.

这与那，此与彼
记住那些 为自由，为明天 而祭上生命的人们

I'll be fine...

Some things in life may change
And some things they stay the same

Like time, time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time,
Time, there's always time
On my mind
Pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

I am feeling bad/sad

I am feeling bad! I am feeling sad! I am feeling bad! I am feeling sad! I am feeling bad!

I need some good news to cheer me up, so I could move on and get the job done!!!!!!

Before that, let me finish Numerical Method assignment...

Thank you Sherry

""Dear Steph,

......
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."
(Hebrews 10:35-36)

May God bless you...and ur interview ur career and ur studies..he...

Sherry''

Dear Sherry, thank you : )

To be honest, I will treat the coming interviews as a opportunities to START UP，will just simply try my best.

Don't know why I have a strong feeling that we will all end up being fine.

Let's do whatever we can do today without worrying about the unknown future, because God is watching over us.

Sleep tight,
Steph

ah...

Low productivity and heavy workload.

I am tired now and my stomach is cramping.
I wish I could sleep but I cannot.

I am very luck to get two interviews -- I know he has been listening to my prays.
However, I am afraid that I will screw them up...

This reminds me...
"Got a notice for interview on the next day.
However, I can't turn that target/pressure to a driven power.
I wasted the rest of the reading break.

I feel regretful and frustrated.

Now it's AM of March 06 2007, Tuesday.
I am still drifting around.

Just prayed to God.
May him grant me the calm, persistence and wisdom to overcome the obstacles.
I will follow him..."

May him grant me persistence, calm and wisdom again.

Let me prepare...

Ten Reasons to Become a Statistian

1 Estimating parameters is easier than dealing with real life.

2 Statisticians are significant.

3 I always wanted to learn the entire Greek alphabet.

4 The probability a statistician major will get a job is > .9999.

5 If I flunk out I can always transfer to Engineering.

6 We do it with confidence, frequency, and variability.

7 You never have to be right - only close.

8 We're normal and everyone else is skewed.

9 The regression line looks better than the unemployment line.

10 No one knows what we do so we are always right.

A prayer

Thank him for everything.
May those who love me safe and happy.
May God grand me calm, persistence and wisdom to overcome the obstacles.
Amen.

Hello Toronto

Pretty soon after settling down in this new city, new program started too.

As what we've been told...courses are intense....but luckily people here are nice. Especially after Scott very kindly offering us several "extracurricular-quick-tutorial" on real analysis and measure theory, I really felt my classmates are either super smart or working crazily hard. When we discuss questions together, people coming from various backgrounds truly make wonderful sparkles!

I have been away from the environment of "class" for a long long time, since at Western everybody has different schedule according to their own chosen workload. The feelings of learning and fighting together again remind me the good old days at high school...

Life starts running again.
So does LittleZ.

Never say goodbay...

(to be continued...)

What a season!

Got two phone calls in 20 min
Heard two good news about two girls
Both got fabulous job offers
Sincere congrats to both of them!
What a season!

越闲越荒废 越忙越开心

发现五月一篇东西都没写，原因是 我太闲了。
写了Review，考了SOA, 去了gym, 败了个laptop, 余下的日子就晃过去了。

纵观自己这么多年的每个暑假，竟然没有一个不是过得不悠闲\0效率的。

不管压力多大或不努力的后果多严重，不管是中考前后，高考前后，transfer前后，还是升grad school前后... 别家小朋友一路向前小跑(预习功课，学英文，找intern...), 自己总是活\躲在自己的世界里，好不悠哉。

每到夏天，好像身体里会自动释放多巴胺(dopamine)，让生物钟放慢脚步。

享受美好便要付出代价，等到试要考，project要due, 受压产生的肾上腺素（adrenaline）又让自己疯狂熬夜最后疲惫不堪。

一次次的循环，令我深信自己是一个不适合放假的人。

今年是我最后一个暑假了吧?

这个夏天，我要改变！

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

去年的今天，因为一件到今天还说不清楚想不明白忘记不了的事情弄得自己一宿没睡，到第二天还佯装成熟故作镇定强打精神风雨无阻地跑去吃热狗冰激凌。没想伤了心坏了胃害得我接下来一年都没走出来也没敢走近那个地方。

今年的今天，因为明天要和老板开会，可公式还没有推出来，所以应该又是睡不了了。

明年的今天，我应该是在准备考试兼疯狂找工作中度过吧？

后年的，大后年的呢？

Actury\Quant people may say：Future has uncertainties; uncertainties bring us risks. Let's turn risks into opportunities.

于是借了一堆书，安了一打programs，做了一个To do list。先不贴出来，怕列位看官笑(害羞, 掩面跑走...）.

在开始一切之前，还是把明天要的defective distribution推出来吧。

Random Thought

Patient Name: LittleZ
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Occupation: M.Sc.Student
Symptoms: Anxiety and completely at sea
Causes: So much work needed while so little time left
Prescription: Calm, focus, and persistentence plus a little bit luck

---Dinner break at Taylor Library

No turning back

No turning back~ No turning back...
I am attending a conference called "Hedge Fund and Associated Risks" at U of Waterloo campus today.
Had a really nice little conversation with KenSenTan during the coffee break. I was so surprised that Tan speaks perfect mandarin and he is a VERY CUTE YOUNG scholar. Although a group picture-taking stopped our conversation, he left me a very good impression.

The first talk in the afternoon will be given by Phelim Boyle... very exciting about it.
He is currently working at the B-school at WLU, not UW anymore. As an ex-sole player in the Stats-Fin program, his leave is also a partial reason that turned down UW's offer.

I keep telling myself "no turning back" and try to be focus on my own work without thinking too much. Hope I will be fine.

1:55pm University of Waterloo Library

I made a decision

Finally I made a decision.

Sent a confirmation along with the money order on Monday... gonna withdraw UW's application later.

No matter what I chose. I wish I will be fine.

The ultimate goal for me is to obtain a satisfactory Q.F.A. placement after graduation.
To be honest I am a little anxious about whether I could do well in MMF and find an internship.

I need to work now.

A hard decision

What a week!

I had a money order ready for the MMF deposit on Tuesday. On Wed I got the Waterloo's Mfinance offer too!

I am so surprised that I can got accepted by Waterloo. That program usually admitted only 12-15 students each year and many of them are already PhD holders.

I am quite happy with the result. Now here comes a question--where should I go?

MMF has a better location and takes shorter time(12 months), but more expensive(36000-17000+living expenses).

Waterloo's program takes longer time(16 months) and it is probably harder/more technical (I ask a past graduate from that program, he is a Math PhD and still found it was quite challenging). I might struggle a lot in Waterloo.However, it has funding support.

Both provide internship opportunities.

I personally know the MMF program better. The only drawback to me is that it's a self-financing program.

A hard decision.....
http://www.global-derivatives.com/forum/index.php?topic=3753.msg18902#msg18902

Big presents!

Last night I didn't sleep -- I was preparing for Waterloo's MFinance Program interview. Got up at 6:00am and went to UofW campus by train. I didn't do very well -- kinda disappointed...

On my way back to London, I got a call from the MMF program at U of T. I got accepted! What a gift!

Thanks God! I know he was listening to my pray!

Now, my current coursework at Western is a mess. I'm going to the post office to pick up a parcel from my dear mama and papa before clean up this mess!

Ciao~~

Back from swimming

Just came back from swimming.
To be honest, I am not a good swimmer, yet.

Now I am going to at least finish the 504 assignment due tomorrow before I go home today.

Then I need to make a good plan for my schedule.
There are just so many things gotta do in such a short time.

Once again, I pray to God for persistence, calm and wisdom.

Now, let's start working!!!

After visiting Waterloo campus

Visited the Waterloo Campus on Feb 27 2007.
Took the exam at the Math Computer Building.

Got a notice for interview on the next day.
However, I can't turn that target/pressure to a driven power.
I wasted the rest of the reading break.

I feel regretful and frustrated.

Now it's AM of March 06 2007, Tuesday.
I am still drifting around.

Just prayed to God.
May him grant me the calm, persistence and wisdom to overcome the obstacles.
I will follow him...

Now let me study.

Today

Jan 26 2007
I sowed 3 seeds on my birthday.
let them grow, let them grow, let them grow...

Jan 27 2007
I left 1 hint of love on the first day of my 23rd year in this world.
I wish YOU can hear me.
I hope there will be something lovely between us.